Bindi Gauntlett Motherhood Mentor
Work with me One-to-one
You need a motherhood mentor when:
- You are feeling isolated, struggling and feeling guilty for ‘doing’ and guilty for ‘not doing’ and you are downright exhausted.
- You feel like there is a way to be a better Mum but you haven’t found the answers from your partner, your friends, your own Mum or any professionals you have turned to so far.
- None of the ‘parenting’ courses or books you have tried have worked for what you need right now.
- Your children are suffering with symptoms of stress, anxiety and anger.
- You seem to have lost the connection you once had.
- You are becoming increasingly worried for the future.
Your kids may be tiny, teenagers or time to leave homers. You might even be a grandmother who would love to be able to really be ‘there’ for your children and grandchildren now and want to share your wisdom, your optimism and any of your other resources to help your family thrive.
Although you have your own individual ‘take’ on how you want to be and what your children need from you, you are finding it hard to keep motivated to hold that vision and need someone right alongside you for a while.
You simply don’t have the spare capacity to read one more book, seek out one more programme or try to work out what is going on for you and your family. You need someone with you who has read the books, supported others and has gone through much of this and can help you find what will really work for you.
Mentorship with Bindi, what you will get...
So that you can really start working straight away on what matters to you and your family.
So that together we can hold the vision that we are working towards together.
So that you can identify your personal strengths, resources and the vision you have for motherhood.
So that the programme goes at a pace that works for you, with hints, tips and coping techniques as you go.
So that you have the opportunity to review progress and plan interventions.
So that we keep track of what we talk about and to share resources.
What Mums say about working with Bindi one to one.
I had reached a roadblock in my life with my 22 year old son. It’s always been just the two of us and we had been through some major ups and downs becoming increasingly fraught throughout his teenage years.
I came to see Bindi in October after my son returned home from his three years away at University. I had anticipated his return with major trepidation and was completely frozen solid as to how to handle his seemingly ongoing inability to ‘get his act together’. I had reached a point when I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone and sort himself out, all very negative and fear based. I was so scared of upsetting him and myself as had happened in the past that I was unable to even ask him if he had graduated or to find out anything about how his life had been there as I was so sure it was all bad and negative.
I was like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand. I knew I couldn’t continue like that but did not know how to proceed and was becoming increasingly isolated from my family, friends and society as a result as I was so frightened of the question ‘What’s your son doing now?’ to which I had no response.
Bindi’s assistance has been completely invaluable to me. Her pitch and manner has suited me perfectly. She has guided me out of a place of darkness, shame and fear into a place filled with light and hope for the future for me and my son. She helped me see more clearly and with greater self awareness and honesty and it helped to break the emotional log jam I was experiencing so I could start to talk with my son about everything I had been fearful of. I am still quite fearful but it is getting better all the time.
Bindi has helped me to regain my hope, faith and trust in him which had gone. I am incredibly grateful to her for that. I couldn’t have taken it from anyone else. Her calm, humorous take on our situation has been hugely reassuring and the effect it has had on both me and my son so far has been nothing short of miraculous.
She has offered tailor made practical advice but which also reaches to a deeper spiritual place. I am a gardener and that is a massive part of what makes me me. I am not religious but have always been drawn to Buddhist philosophy. Her advice and help has been peppered with metaphors which make utter sense within the context of my life and have a deep resonance within my soul.
She asked me to think of two plants living together side by side as a metaphor for me and my son. I thought of a lovely apple tree in the garden I work in which has a beautiful rose scrambling up through it , blooming profusely in the summer months where it has reached the light through the branches of the apple tree. That’s me and my son.
I told Bindi that previously I had always thought of my family as a big tree with one sickly limb with hardly any leaves and lichen on the branches which I thought of as me and my son’s contribution. That is now in the past, replaced with this lovely image of positivity.
In conclusion, having stumbled off into a place full of brambles and thicket through which I could not find my way, I have now reached a clearing of great beauty with a strong sense of direction and a road map which is still unfolding which I feel is leading me and my son to sunny uplands!
Heartfelt thanks Bindi. It was a stroke of luck to have found you. Lights are coming out from bushels left right and centre thanks to you!
Since working with Bindi I question so much less the worth of what I am doing – I am really starting to feel that there is a real value in what I am doing rather than a sense of somehow not “managing” to work as well as being a mum. I have noticed a massive difference in the behaviour particularly of my eldest child since taking part in the programme – she is so much happier and seems so much more secure. I also realised that I still hadn’t come to terms with the terrifying birth of my eldest daughter – I hadn’t really realised it but I have always felt terrible feelings of guilt about not having been a good enough mother to her and for how she came into the world and those early numb days as we recovered from the shock. These feelings are easing and I feel so much closer to her now which is lovely.
I am really enjoying working with Bindi – sometimes I have to think really hard which is good! And sometimes the ideas and thoughts come to me through the day after I’ve watched the video. Thank you!
I lacked confidence in my ability to be a good mother. I felt guilty and wracked with doubts and nagging thoughts about what I should/ought/needed to be doing. These guilty/nagging/doubting thoughts were really hampering my enjoyment of being a mother and getting in the way. I was constantly questioning and doubting and doing jobs/to do lists and at times was missing the moment. I now feel more confident and have shed some of the guilty/nagging doubts and thoughts and am gradually coming to understand myself more and value more what I do (rather than constantly worrying that I wasn’t doing anything of value).
It is a great opportunity to really look at mothering and the questions raised on the programme and think about it properly rather than just rushing through life hoping and meaning to do it better but never actually making or getting the time to do that!
Bindi has an amazing, powerful, thought provoking, positive, can do approach that really will change things for the better.
Helping Daniel aged 8 to stay in bed…
(We first had quite a detailed conversation so that I could see what was working and what wasn’t. I then looked to what was working to fix what wasn’t. I then gave Lindsey some clear strategies that would meet Daniel’s needs in a way that didn’t involve him using every tool in his toolkit for staying awake late into the evening.)
After 1 night (and 5 years of avoiding going to sleep) This is what Lindsey said…
Bindi you are genius! Thank you so, so much! Little man stayed in his bed last using this method! 😊
I love how you nailed his needs in just a few paragraphs – I absolutely agree attention and control are key areas for my son, something we have to bear in mind during every conversation (good or challenging), to encourage his openness with what we’re saying.
I haven’t a working printer at home (at the moment), so my son and I created an A3 poster together adding a table for each day of the week for a month and added loads of positive words around it in various bright colours. Things like ‘Sleeping makes me strong’, ‘My sleep makes me even better at football’, ‘I love sleeping and have fun dreams’, ‘When I sleep I get to snuggle up to my bunny’, ‘I am safe’, ‘Mummy and Daddy love me lots’ – that kind of thing…so, as he’s drifting off he fills his head with good stuff. We also added stars, moons, hearts and happy faces! He really enjoyed making this.
This morning, he came running through at 7.30am saying ‘Mummy I did it – I stayed in my bed’! We did a high five and added a star sticker! We’ve agreed that 3 stars equal a prize that being – choosing our movie night film, a play date, his choice of tea, he can choose the Friday treat from the sweetie shop! That kind of thing – he added Pokémon cards to the mix (of course!).
Our bedroom is right next to his, so I stayed in there and did my work social media stuff. I didn’t make any reference to why I was doing it – but he knew I was there. I think he took a lot of comfort in that. It was actually really nice just chilling out on my bed after the bedtime routine!
My partner is on board and up for this, we’ll use lots of positive encouragement and like this morning, we said ‘do you feel better for getting more sleep’ – to which he said yes (I won’t obviously ask if he doesn’t). I’ll also ensure we adopt the ‘never mind there’s always tomorrow if we experience a blip! So thank you for that tip.
Thank you SO much again Bindi – you’re like my fairy godmother – sprinkling awesomeness! I can imagine SO many other mothers appreciating your wise words and wisdom.
Thank you xx
Lindsey Woodrow 14th Feb 2019
As a mentored Mum you get the guilt-free Mum programme but also support from a trusted professional every step of the way.
We can work with your time schedule and really tailor your motherhood manual to fit your values, vision and voice. We focus on what you need exactly when you need it.
In my 40 year career I have been a nurse, a health visitor, a parenting specialist and a psychotherapist. Together with my partner we developed stress management programmes and published the Anxiety Freedom Cards resource pack.
I am a parent to two adult children and have been married, divorced, a single parent, a step parent – (my partner and I successfully blended a family of four teenagers). I have personal experience of living with young people with mental distress in various forms.
Dads make fabulous parents. They can guide and nurture their kids, keep boundaries and love them unconditionally. But they are not Mums. They do not go through pregnancy and matrescence, their brains are not changed by the female hormones, they do not experience the world as a female. Simply put, I am a woman and a Mum – this is my experience and expertise. Mentoring Dads is not my strength.
Yes, I have sixteen years of experience working with trauma in both adults and children. I can certainly help both by working directly and by finding a supportive therapist should that be required.
Yes, I can help you to support your child and to find the route to wellness for them.
However I do not currently work directly with children and young people and this would be complementary and not alternative treatment.
Yes, the best way to find out how I can help you is for us to have a conversation. Please contact me – let’s arrange a call.
It’s never too late to be a great Mum! We go through many metamorphoses as mothers from ‘new Mum’ to ‘working mum’ to ‘school mum’ ‘empty nest mum’ ‘mum in law’ etc. All these experiences help you to grow as a mum – I can help you to take this experience, let go of any oughts, shoulds and guilt. And become the Mum, inlaw/outlaw mum and grandmum that you want to be and that your family needs
After being a Mum for 16 years I realised that I had been parenting from a place of guilt. My own parents had brought me up with ‘you should”, “you must”, “you ought to” and “you need to”. And it hadn’t really worked. I suddenly realised that I had been doing that with my kids and at that time I realised how badly I was failing. They were not happy and neither was I. After a brief period of feeling guilty about that. I decided to find a way to be the best Mum I could be and the Mum that they really need me to be. It is still a work in progress 20 years on. I have learned through theory and through practice and I have found ways to distil this knowledge to give you what you need when you need it.
I don’t want any Mums ever to feel that they are on their own.
What to do now?
If you think that you need support, encouragement, insights and inspiration in your role as a mother right now then click the button below to find out exactly how I can help you.
* Please note, because of the nature of this work I am only able to take on a few Mums for mentoring each month. More and more Mums are reaching out now, so if you think you might need help do click to find out more and let’s chat soon – you have nothing to lose.